Dirty Detention
by DeliciousNewYork
Summary: Harry has to stay after class for a little detention, but this time, he may just enjoy the detention...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nada

Rating: M

Genre: Humor/ Parody/ Romance

Dirty Detention

By DeliciousNewYork

* * *

"You're late," Professor Minerva Mcgonagall hissed at Harry as he entered the transfiguration classroom, panting. "Do I get to hear your excuse, Potter, or should I just give you a detention?" As Lavender Brown stumbled in behind him panting as well and with a smear of lipstick extending from her bottom lip down her chin and partway down her neck, the class broke into a chorus of laughter and the detentions were handed out.

Harry had gained quite a reputation as a playboy, at Hogwarts ever since Ginny and he had broken up. In a matter of months he had transformed from a shy, insecure boy to a shy, insecure slutty boy.

"Miss Brown, you will take your detention with professor Snape next Tuesday, and Potter, you will take yours with me, tonight," Mcgonagall said harshly but Harry couldn't help but notice the glint in her eye as she said it.

"Have fun with that one mate," Ron whispered sarcastically, "She's been in a bad mood all week you're fucked."

"Maybe I can change that bad mood," Harry whispered back but Ron was to busy playing footsie with Hermione to notice.

"Turn your books to page 394," Mcgonagall said as the class proceeded…

Harry ran a nervous hand through his hair cracking his neck and knuckles before entering the classroom. His mind had been on this detention all day, as much as part of him dreaded it, another part was oddly intrigued. He had felt an energy from Mcgonagall the whole class, the way she kept glancing at him over her shoulder, or the way she caressed his hand as she was instructing him on proper wand movement. Harry had been with older women, and men, for that matter, but only ever by a few years. There was something different about this, for as many times as he'd had his broomstick polished there always seemed to be something missing.

As much as he wanted to be pleasured, Harry needed more. As much as he liked to be coddled and taken care of, in a matter of speaking, Harry needed to be the hero, he needed to take care of someone else, to serve them, he needed them to need him, to scream his name in ecstasy, he wanted to be someone's drug the way sex had turned into his drug.

"Hello Potter, are you ready for a long evening of hard work and sweat?" Mcgonagall asked. Harry saw her swallow deeply and he felt his pants tighten.

"I am." He replied sauntering forward and breathing in deeply. "What do I have to do?"

"My, erm, desk, needs polishing," Mcgonagall said in a flustered voice as Harry loomed nearer. She motioned to a tin of polish and some rags, "You'll be polishing it the muggle way." She added walking stiffly to one of the student's desks and sitting atop it.

"I guess I'll get started then," Harry said in a deep voice. He slowly began to unbutton his shirt, "I don't want to get polish on it," he explained.

"Of course not," Mcgonagall replied in a tight high-pitched voice. "Well," Mcgonagall continued as Harry's shirt slid off of his naked chest, revealing toned pale flesh , "I'm, erm, going to eat my dinner then, right here, while you erm, polish-"

"Do you need the chair polished as well?" Harry asked smiling at her.

"Erm, no. That's fine."

"Then why don't you sit on it over here, beside me? I wouldn't mind the company, if you don't mind."

"I'm not sure if it would be, erm entirely appropriate…" Mcgonagall trailed off and then in a strict voice, "This isn't supposed to be enjoyable, I'm not your company I'm your professor and this is a punishment."

"Well," Harry began sauntering towards her and running a hand down his naked chest, "Can't you punish me from over here?" Mcgonagall's breath hitched as she summoned her dinner, a scrumptious taco, obviously trying to control herself.

"I'm trying to eat my taco," Mcgonagall yelled, obviously flustered.

"It looks, tasty," Harry agreed, "but maybe what you really want, is a banana."

"What are you implying Potter?"

"I have a banana you could taste, maybe I could dip it into your taco for you."

"Potter, I uh-" Mcgonagall was bright red and breathing hard.

Harry took her soft wrinkled hand and forcefully led her to the professor's chair sitting behind her desk.

"You look a little flustered, professor, why not have a cup of tea to help you calm down?" Harry said summoning a tiny teapot, cup, pitcher of milk and bowl of sugar with spoon. Mcgonagall anxiously fixed herself a cup, drinking it furiously as Harry ducked beneath the desk.

"Feeling better, professor?" Harry asked, perching his head on her lap, "Or do you still need a little… something?" At this Mcgonagall choked and in her haste dropped her spoon. Harry slid his hand beneath her long floor length robes finding the missing spoon. "Don't worry professor, I found it."

"Thank you, Potter, now give it here-" Mcgonagall ordered as Harry slid the smooth cold spoon up the inside of her soft bare leg. Harry ignored her, asking instead,

"After I finish the desk do you want me to polish your cauldron for you?" He trailed off drawing little circles on the insides of Mcgonagall's thighs with the spoon, "Maybe I could stir your cauldron first." Mcgonagall squealed in ecstasy as Harry did just that, sinking the smooth round spoon into Mcgonagall's warm wet cauldron.

"Stir it, stir it, STIR IT!" Mcgonagall screamed as Harry thrusted the spoon deeper and deeper into her cauldron, her juices bubbled as she and Harry created a potion of ecstasy.

"Professor, your potion's getting everywhere… It's so sticky and dirty… Maybe I could clean it up." Mcgonagall writhed in passion as Harry began cleaning the potion that had spilled from the cauldron in the passion of his stirring. As the taste of the potion filled his mouth Mcgonagall screamed out shuddering slightly at Harry's soft, yet vigorous touch.

"Clean it!" She yelled just as the door to the classroom opened.

* * *

Yes I know I'm f-d up, leave me a message and let me know just how screwed up I am :-D 


	2. Potions and Cream

Disclaimer: Still not mine…even when it's all over.

Rating: M

Genre: Humor/Parody/Romance

* * *

Dirty Detention Part 2:

Potions and Cream

By: DeliciousNewYork

* * *

Harry and McGonagall were too caught up in their erotic potion-making to notice the shadow falling across the floor.

"Clean it! Cauldrons need to be cleaned for proper maintenance!" Her screams were echoing throughout the classroom now, but the dark figure still made no move to leave, or interfere.

Finally, McGonagall ran out of potion. Harry crawled backwards, licking the wetness from her potion from his lips. For several moments, neither spoke. Harry was the first to break the silence.

"I always did like tacos."

The figure at the door was still there, and the time had come to be noticed.

"Potter, you always were a shoddy potion maker."

Harry quickly stood; the light glinted off his bare chest.

"Professor Snape?!"

Yes, it was Professor Snape. And he was wearing a whip-cream bikini!

"No Potter, its Professor Dumbledore." Harry was obviously confused. Sarcasm was not his strong point. Snape finally walked into the room. After all, his white, naked ass had been showing in the hall for some time now.

Snape slammed the door behind him.

"I see you are serving detention Potter. Perhaps McGonagall has been too easy on you? Detention is not supposed to be enjoyable," He paused, "Minerva, perhaps I should take over the detention from here…I know you were looking forward to the weekly professor's conference (Snape was on his way there when he heard McGonagall's screams of passion), but I really think I need to be the one to teach Harry a lesson."

At the thought of Snape taking over, Harry began to reach for his shirt. Fear flooded him, along with the overwhelming desire to run away. And then a strange thought crossed his mind. He wasn't the skankiest boy in school for nothing!

He dropped his shirt back on the ground and made his way towards Snape, removing his pants in the process.

"Professor McGonagall had me polishing her desk. Do you need something polished? Your wand maybe?"

At this statement, McGonagall made a choking noise from the back of her throat, and she began to blush. And then she got angry. This was her detention to administer!

Neither Harry nor Snape paid any attention to her sputtering.

"I have a little something you for you to do."

Harry raised an eyebrow and glanced down Snape's body, "Little?" Harry walked forward until he was directly in front of Snape, then reached out and took a hold of his potions master.

"I guess it's your broomstick handle that needs polishing."

Harry proceeded to polish Snape's broomstick handle, potions and cream spewing out. Flecks landed on Harry's face and bare torso. McGonagall, witnessing this, quickly reached for her tea spoon and began again what Harry had done minutes before.

Harry increased the pace of his hand. He had thought he felt connection with McGonagall, but nothing could prepare him for this. It was as if he was bonding to Snape through the contact they were sharing. Snape pulled him closer; their faces almost touching as they shared breath.

And then it was over.

Harry quickly broke the connection. His arms dangled at his sides a few moments, until he raised his hand to his mouth and licked the remnants of potions and cream from the bottom of his palm up his middle finger.

McGonagall was finishing up with the spoon. Harry, feeling like he had betrayed her in a way, walked over to her and held his hand out. She cleaned the rest of the potions and cream from his hand.

Harry felt empty now. The exhilaration he had felt moments earlier was gone. Would these encounters be like all the others? Just meaningless sex? He had thought he felt something more, but would it all be over now?

Harry walked over to where his pants were and bent over to pick them up. He dropped them when he heard slight groans emanating from both Professors. Perhaps he could salvage things after all. There was only one thing left to do. Harry removed his boxers to reveal his favorite crotch-less leather thong. He usually wore it for luck.

"Mr. Potter, detention ended several minutes ago, you are free to go." It was obvious McGonagall had a difficult time telling Harry he could go.

"Are you sure? Do you need anything else from me?" He could hear both of their breaths quicken at the word "need." He laughed softly. "I could help you both clean up."

With those words he walked over to Snape and pulled him close, bringing him over to McGonagall. "Perhaps we could clean up together?" He held out his hand and pulled McGonagall up from the chair he sat her in at the beginning of his detention.

"Potter," Snape began, but Harry cut him by removing Snape's whip cream top with his tongue. Not wanting McGonagall to be left out, Harry kept some cream in his mouth and gave it to her. She swallowed thickly.

"Do you like that Professor?" Harry asked her. She nodded slowly. "I may have some more cream for you, if you'd like." She nodded again. Harry removed his crotch-less leather thong, rendering him completely naked at last.

McGonagall got all the cream she wanted.

Then Snape bent him over the desk and began to fuck him up the ass.

The door creaked open.

"Harry! How could you!?!"

* * *

Who could it be? 


	3. Man Pudding

Last time:

**Last time:**

**McGonagall got all the cream she wanted.**

**Then Snape bent him over the desk and began to fuck him up the ass**

**The door creaked open.**

**"Harry! How could you!?"**

**Now:**

Harry looked up to see the naked form of Sirius Black.

He almost didn't recognize Sirius because of the peg leg.

"What happened to your leg?" Harry grunted between thrusts.

"I lent it to a friend. Mind if I join?" Sirius asked.

Harry nodded and Sirius hobbled over to Snape and Harry. Mcgonagowl was a bit surprised to see Sirius as he was dead.

"Aren't you dead?" she asked.

"No. I just ran out for a Toblerone," he replied.

McGonagal lifted her wrinkled ass in the air and felt a gush of pleasure as Sirius's peg leg found its way into her wet, gushing sleeve.

He didn't even have to thrust more than two times before McGonagal came like a bust open fire hydrant. Her powerful jet-stream of cum propelled her through the wall and onto the main grounds.

Sirius merely shrugged and set his sights on the pair of raven haired humpers.

"Can I braid your hair while you do that?" Sirius asked Snape.

"Of course!" he cried with delight.

Sirius did a lovely French braid as Snape repeatedly boned that crap out of Harry.

Finally have three hours Snape was finished.

Harry fell asleep and Snape and Sirius looked at each other with an animal like lust.

"I like your peg leg" Snape said.

"Thanks, I like your huge fucking nose" Sirius replied.

"Oh I'll show you a fucking nose."

With that Snape pulled off Sirius's peg leg and started spanking his ass with it. Sirius was getting very excited and needed that sweet release.

Snape threw the peg leg aside and jammed his huge nose up Sirius's fun hole. He went in and out and in and out like a woodpecker.

Sirius soon couldn't take it anymore and he climaxed with the power of Niagra Falls. Sirius's river of ejaculate landed all over Harry's face.

Harry thought he was having a dream about warm pudding being poured all over his face, but he woke up to find it was Siriu's man pudding. This made him happy.

He got a handful of it and knew that he could turn it into a love potion. He got the other ingredients and started work right away. Harry ran to the lab, naked and covered in cum.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" he cried!

**Please review! Let me know what you think!!**


	4. The Biggest Asshole

Disclaimer: I own nothing

* * *

**LAST TIME: **

**Harry leaves the classroom and heads to the potions lab to make a love potion. Harry opens the door of the potions lab and asks "What the hell are you doing here?!" **

THIS TIME:

The Biggest Asshole

"Testing a theory Hermione had," Ron replied. He was bent over, his naked freckled ass waving in the air.

"What theory is that?" Harry asked setting up his love potion.

"Hermione thought Ron here was a big asshole," Hagrid replied from where he sat behind Ron. "So wer' testing' it." Harry maneuvered around to see Hagrid plunging two fat fingers into Ron's pink freckled puckered passage of pleasure. Ron was growning with pleasure.

"Join in Harry, I bet you could get your full hand in there," Ron offered between gasps and groans. Harry shrugged going over and plunging his hang in Ron's warm glove. Hermione was right, Ron was a big asshole.

"I wonder how big of an asshole I am," Harry murmured Ron stood scratching his chin his firecrotch stood up in salute and Harry decided to test how big of an asshole he was by seeing if Ron's flag would fit up his butthole.

Ron yelped in pleasure as Hagrid plunged his fingers at the same time that Harry grinded his ass. Ron was taking it double time and simply wishing he could have it in his mouth as well. Hagrid made that possible when He pulled a hamster out of his pocket and thrust it into Ron's mouth. The hamster came and Ron got a hamster sized mouth full.

It occurred to Hagrid that Ron's asshole was big enough for his huge hairy sausage and he pulled his fingers out and plunged his sausage into a nice sizzling stew with sticky brown broth.

Ron gushed some stew into Harry's shot glass and Harry decided that it was time for Hagrid to get some pleasing. Harry ran around and positioned himself behind Hagrid's naked, hairy ass. He plunged his arm into the cavernous whole and felt around. He found a treacle tart inside. Harry pulled it out and took a bite, it tasted like shit.

Hagrid pulled another hamster out of his pocket and thrust it up Harry's ass where it built a nice little home, had sex with a cricket and had a nice warm family. It was the family that Harry had never had and he decided to name the hamster Mussolini.

Hagrid was getting frustrated at how skinny Harry's arm was and soon demanded for more. Harry pulled his arm out and put a leg up there He was still too skinny. Soon Hagrid had come in Ron's butt pocket and Ron decided to go see what Harry was up to.

Harry was in a tricky position because one of his legs was stuck up Hagrid's ass cavern.

"Need a boost Harry?" Ron asked.

"Thanks, mate," Harry responded. Ron lifted Harry up and helped him plunge his other leg into Hagrid ass terminal. Harry slid in up to his chest. Hagrid screamed in ecstasy and Harry slid the rest of the way in.

"I guess you're the biggest asshole, Hagrid," Ron laughed pulling the hamster that had been in his mouth, out of his ass, where he had stashed it when he went to boost Harry.

Harry popped his head out of Hagrids ass and the three of them had a good laugh.

"What's so funny?" A high pitched voice asked from the doorway.

* * *

A/N: ummmm... yes... no comment...

* * *


End file.
